Happy Family.

We are the followers of Jesus Christ.
Proudly being a part of City Harvest's spiritual family.
Read our entries to know more about us!:]

3:44 PM

right
back
up!

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Hurtful and Harmful Words - part 1

Hurtful and Harmful Words

The Proverbs in the Bible say that there are two types of people who have less hope than a fool. A fool is a fool. But who could have imagined that a fool has more hope than these two types of people? Who are they?

They are the people who:
1. use hasty words - Proverbs 29:20 TEV says, “There is more hope for a stupid fool than for someone who speaks without thinking.”

2. are conceited - Proverbs 26:12 TEV says, “The most stupid fool is better off than those who think they are wise when they are not.”

And why do they have less hope than a fool?
i. For the people who use hasty words, it is because they have very small chance of salvaging their hasty words. Hasty words once spoken cannot be taken back. They do their mischief and no amount of apologies, excuses and explanations would be able to undo the damage they had done. Hasty words betray a heart that has little self-control.

ii. For the people who are conceited, it is because they are too proud of themselves. They can’t see beyond themselves. They are not humble enough to see their own faults. Conceited people tend to be too critical and too harsh. Their harsh and critical words could create wounds that last a long time.

1. Hasty Words
The Book of Proverbs mentions just two things for which there is less hope than for a fool. One is conceit. Proverbs 26:12 says, “Do you see a man wise in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him.” The other is hasty words. Proverbs 29:20 asks, “Do you see a man hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him.”

Like arrows from a bow, words once spoken cannot be recalled. Apologies sometimes don’t make up for the hurt caused by hasty words. God’s wisdom says, “A brother offended is harder to win than a strong city, and contentions are like the bars of a castle” (Proverbs 18:19 NKJV). Hasty words cheat the mind, betray the heart and ruin a life. There is but one cure for hasty words - always take your time before you respond.

1.1 Hasty Promises
We live in an era of telemarketing technology. People seeking funds for their causes don’t have to go door-to-door anymore. Phone solicitors are able to reach us in the inner sanctum of our homes. Everyone has answered a ringing telephone only to find a person at the other end wanting us to pledge to some worthy cause. How can we say no to the heart fund, the cancer drive, the leukemia foundation and so forth? Usually we cannot. The problem is that most of us have limited funds. Out of these limited funds we must support our local church, Christian ministries and missions. It’s impossible to stretch your dollars to cover everything. Critical choices have to be made. You may indeed be touched by the need represented by the telephone solicitor and will feel led to contribute, but never make a hasty promise. It could turn out to be a lie. Instead, tell the caller to send you some information about that charity. Tell him you have to weigh your obligations. And then pray about it. Give yourself some time to get some guidance from God for even these routine matters of life. Don’t compromise God’s resources by making hasty promises. Know what His priorities are and then follow them.

1.2 Hasty Commitments
Time is another precious commodity that can be compromised by haste. The temptation to over commit ourselves is universal. We see so many needs: the Sunday school needs teachers, the youth need sponsors, the church needs deacons, the mission needs volunteers. Before you know it, you have promised to do it all. “I’ll pray the Lord gives me strength,” you say. Sometimes you learn the hard way that God gives strength for what He wants you to do - but not for the 101 other things you feel you need to do.

You cannot meet every need, and you are not called to meet every need. If you have no time for your family, if you have difficulty finding time to get alone with God, if your health is faltering because you are so exhausted meeting your commitments, likely you’ve said yes more often than God led you to.

When someone requests more of your time, don’t commit immediately. Again, tell him you need an opportunity to pray for God’s green light. Rarely should you make a commitment on the spot. Get away from the woeful eyes and pleading voice and listen to God instead.

1.3 Hasty Conclusions
In addition, never come to a hasty conclusion. Like one office worker said to another, “We don’t need a fitness program. People around here get plenty of exercise jumping to conclusions.” Hasty conclusions are often based only on partial facts, and the consequences can be embarrassing.
The Piltdown Man, discovered in 1912 near Piltdown, England, was supposedly proof of the apelike character of early man. This conclusion was based on some fragments of a skull and a jawbone. More than 500 doctoral theses were written on this subject. In 1953, however, it was discovered that the bones had been gathered together and placed in a shallow grave by a practical joker. They didn’t even come from the same carcass. Hundreds of scholars had been embarrassed by jumping to the wrong conclusion. “Do you see a man hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him.”

1.4 Hasty Retorts
Have you noticed that the first words that come to mind are often not our best words? When these words are inspired by anger or sarcasm, they can be devastating. British author and playwright George Bernard Shaw once sent Sir Winston Churchill two tickets to the opening night’s performance of one of his plays. Accompanying the tickets was Shaw’s short note, “Bring a friend, if you have one.” Churchill, also adept at saying a lot in a few words, replied: “I’ll wait for the second night, if there is one.” Such cuts and jabs may not be fatal but they are painful.

They are wounds we should not inflict upon either friend or foe. “A fool vents all his feelings, but a wise man holds them back” (Proverbs 29:11 NKJV). A mouth opened in haste to make a promise, to incur a commitment, to draw a conclusion or to speak a word in retort can become a reason for regret that lasts a long time. Instead, we need to follow the wisdom in Proverbs 13:3: “He who guards his mouth preserves his life, but he who opens wide his lips shall have destruction.”

to be continued